lessons learned the hard way!

Have you ever stopped to think what makes you say "Yes" and what makes you say "No"? I often struggle with this in my personal life. I feel guilty if I say no to anything but I can't do everything. So where is the balance?

Sometimes I think, "Oh I can do that", or I base my decision on what I say "yes" to doing as to whether I can do it easily in my own strength. And if I can't do it by myself, I will often say, "NO", with some well thought out excuse as to why I can't possibly say yes! And I know I am not the only one who struggles with this so don't sit there with your mouth open in shock at how horrible I am!

The Holy Spirit began working in my life about this just about a year ago, and I have been thinking on it ever since.

Greg, as most of you know, is an intern at Sackville Independent Baptist Church. Pastor Dodd has taken the time to teach Greg the ins and outs of pastoral leadership and ministry in the "real world"... meaning outside of Bible College.

So about a year ago, Pastor Dodd asked Greg if he would go to Digby to preach for a Sunday! Well of course we were all excited, until the week before when a friend of mine came into the nursery and said something like, "We would have been going there too if I knew how to play the piano"....! Not understanding I said, "What does the piano have to do with it?" Turns out that my darling husband had forgotten to mention to me that I was to play the piano in both services. If you know me at all, you know that yes I can play the songs that I know, or have practiced, but I am NOT comfortable leading a congregation... especially when I can't pick the songs!!!

Let's just say the car ride home was not a "glorifying God" experience! My first thought that I loudly proclaimed to my forgetful husband was that I had a 4 week old baby!!! How in the world was I supposed to feed and take care of her while I play the piano??! Not to mention we know nobody there, so who will hold her? Oh ya, and my favorite, "I can't sight read music!!!" (which is true. However practice usually helps that all out but the thought of that was NOT making me happy!)

After a day of ranting and being grumpy because I was now thrown into this service AGAINST MY WILL, Greg and I talked it out. You see, he knew that I could do it. Pastor knew that I could do it. And though it may not have been able to be done in my own strength, God would see me through it if I let Him work through me.

So, with a grumpy face I said "yes" and began to work on the songs. The day came when we traveled the 2 hours to the church, where it turned out God worked through me and gave me clarity of mind to play. Makaela slept and was not a problem at all. And when the day was done, I looked at Greg and said, "Thank you".

Side note: I am still humbled at the thought that God has allowed me to marry a pastor. May I never hold him back from what God would have him to do.

God showed me clearly that day, that just because I can't do it alone, I can still do it! I felt the presence of God in a powerful way. All because I had to serve OUTSIDE of my will and in HIS.

Now that does not mean Greg is excused for not telling me (though he has long since been forgiven!), or that he has an excuse in the future that it is "God's will"!... but it does mean that when I say "Yes" or "No" to any service, it had better be for a real reason other than "I can't do it by myself".

"The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." - Luke 18:27b

manda